xOxO_AzNDreAmYBaBE_OxOx's Xanga

i miss you.

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 05:25:30 GMT

and there's absolutely nothing i can do about it.

and on top of that.
school sucks.
i'm disappointed in myself.
and i am so going to start eating better and running more.

the end.

wow.

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 05:07:10 GMT

i haven't been on here in forever.

one door closes, and another one opens... some thoughts.

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 00:09:03 GMT

I've been neglecting xanga... haven't been writing here in a long time.... I guess its about time.

So I've been thinking a lot lately... not only since the summer's winding down... but ever since summer even started. Things have been absolutely crazy. I've lost friendships, made new friendships, grown in friendships, and have had friendships tested. I've seen only a couple of my school friends since graduation... and now everyone's off to college. I also haven't been to church in God knows how long. I miss them, but its my fault. I must say I kinda regret all that.. However I've grown sooo much closer to a certain group of people who have helped me get through the summer. I've made some new friends... mostly from GT. Friendships have definitely been tested, especially one. Theres been lots of lonely days, and lots of nights of crying. And then there were the days where everything was okay for a change. Over the past month, I've come to realize that NOTHING is gonna be the same anymore. I move into my dorm next week, I start my first day of college the following Monday. Change is inevitable. Losing people is inevitable. It really makes me wish I was a kid again... the days where everything was carefree and boys had cooties. Life was so much easier back then. Yeah, call me emo, but I can't help feeling that way.... nor can I really explain how I'm feeling. I'm soooooooo excited about moving out (finally some freedom for a change) and starting a new life, but I can't say that I'm not also freaking scared as hell either. I guess I've just been REALLLLY nostalgic lately. Random memories of the past year and even the past 5-6 years have just been randomly popping up when someone mentions something or I see a picture. On a random note, I've also grown obsessed to watching LOST (best show ever, after One Tree Hill).

I miss you. It's been more than a month since I've really been able to talk to you. And now I can, but I don't know what to say. You've started your new life, and I'm about to start mine. I think one of the worst feelings ever is uncertainty... not knowing what to expect or do. And I don't even think you care.

What do you do when you really love someone but theyre more than a thousand miles away and you can't do anything about it....? And what's it called when you're not exactly taken but not exactly single either? And what do you do when you have people who basically worship the ground you walk on, but you don't want any of them... just one person... who isnt one of them? AH. I can't do relationships anymore.

I guess I just have to keep up the faith, huh? I'm becoming hopeless.....*cries*. Waiting for the day to come where I can be really HAPPY for a change.

Wow, I've had this thing since 7th grade and reading old entries really brings back old memories. And how stupid and naive I was back in the day.... geez. I've changed a lot.... and NO, I'm not emo! I PROMISE!

From the words of the oh-so-wonderful Stacey Ferguson, aka Fergie...
It's time to be
A big girl now..
And big girls don't cry!!

On a lighter note, I'm freaking excited about moving in. And decorating. Not to mention I have an awesome roommate :) And I'm glad I'm not majoring in anything engineer-related. Muahahaha.

:(

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 02:15:40 GMT

Daniel left for basic training at Air Force Academy yesterday morning. :(

But I do have his address, so if anyone cares to write to him (he'll appreciate letters) just let me know!

So a new chapter begins....

Wed, 23 May 2007 14:00:21 GMT

You know, I haven't really posted anything worth reading for a LONG time on xanga. I'm neglecting it :(

But yea....so it really hasn't sunk in yet.... that in about a couple months, EVERYTHING is going to change. It hasn't really sunk in at this moment, either, that I'm absolutely freaking done with high school. No more high school drama, no more teachers, no more stupid administration, no more stupid people in the hallways.... no more friends :( I'm gonnna miss some certain people from school a LOT. It really hasn't kicked in.... maybe it will after graduation. On top of that, three of my best friends are leaving in a month for military academies..... NOT cool. One of which I'm especially gonna miss a whole freaking ton :( :( Too many things have been happening in the last two weeks. Last week of school, AP exams, SPEECH WRITING (help!!!), taking ONE stupid final, baccaluareate, something with a certain someone..... I think I'm gonna strangle myself lol. So for the last couple of weeks I've been pretty depressed over certain things... but now I'm starting to realize it's gonna be okay... and nothing has reaaaaaaaaaaallly changed THAT much but yet they have. But I'm good with what I have now.

Oh yeah, AND my parents just bought a new house, or lack thereof cause its not built yet but I will be moving in October. Not that it matters anyways because I'll be living at Tech so yaaaaaa -_- Where? Um, Johns Creek/Alpharetta/Duluth/Suwanee I don't exactly know which city its in quite yet cause its all mixed up up there..

By the way:
Meadowcreek High School Graduation
May 26, 2007
Gwinnett Arena
10:00 am

** Let me know if you want to go so I can get you a ticket!! :)

you know what i noticed...?

Sun, 13 May 2007 01:06:46 GMT

nobody cares.

not even the people you thought would care the most.

No food fights.

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 02:00:38 GMT

That's gotta be the funniest thing I've seen in awhile, so I had to take a pic.
They wrote that instead of the menu on Friday because the previous two days were chaos.
Good ol' Meadowcreek High School.
Boy am I gonna miss it.
PSH! haha

moral of the story is....

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 21:52:03 GMT

So anyways, every morning I take Steve Reynolds to school since its freaking on Steve Reynolds.... and that has got to be the most dangerous road to drive on in the morning. AH. Everyone speeds, everyone switches into the left lane, and everyone follows too closely. Once I almost rear ended someone so from then on I stay like 30 feet away lol. Anyways.

So today I'm going down Steve Reynolds.. same old routine everyday... and I see a Gwinnett Transit bus thingamabobber and a minivan behind it. I slow down expecting it to come into my lane... so I give them some room. They FINALLY decide to merge into my lane at the very last second when I'm already thinking that they're not gonna merge.... so I hit the brakes, not really making a quick stop since I was already slowed down... and all the sudden i hear a huge BOOM and look in my rearview mirror and see a bunch of smoke. Welll...... so the car behind me hit the brakes... and the car behind it (my friend) slammed into it... and a bunch of people (also school friends) swerve to avoid it... and somehow, it ends up being from what I heard, a 7 car accident (chain reaction sort of thing) all along Steve Reynolds. So i'm over there freaking out when I get to school because someone almost freaking ran into my 5 day old car, and I'm worried that it's my fault (which it really isn't at all). But just so happens I knew just about everyone involved.... and the car behind me, the guy didn't have his license, and the car behind it was Kelli and thank God she's not even scratched even though the front of her car is practically gone. Ah. So basically it's the guy who cut me off's fault (should have taken down the tag) and everyone who was following too closely. Phew... good thing me and the person behind me wasn't following too close. or else. eck. And good thing everyone is safe too...

So moral of the story is... if you go to Meadowcreek and you're used to following super close because of all the traffic and zooming down Steve Reynolds.... don't do it :)

finally.

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 01:31:51 GMT

Got my new car today.

Gooooooodbye '89 Toyota Camry that drove like crap.

Hellooooo '07 Nissan Altima with everything on it!

YAY

random

Thu, 25 Jan 2007 02:30:13 GMT

anyone know how to get rid of a trojan virus??? i have norton antivirus but its not renewed so i cant use it....

any other way to get rid of it?! grrrr lol

oh, and anyone know where i can get a good deal for a TI-89 Titanium besides ebay?